A few weeks ago I posted edited versions of the first letters I wrote home from the MTC (see: http://thewholemissionary.blogspot.com/2014/07/week-1-sock-story.html). Since then I have been thinking about continuing to post my weekly letters home, like a voice from the distant past. At the same time I have been debating whether to skip my letter from week two; it was a difficult week and I really messed up. On the other hand, maybe someone will learn from my mistakes.
Additionally, I did not write home about how the week started. To provide some balance, here is what I wrote in my journal (names have been changed to protect the innocent):
Tonight Elder Fox and I had a big argument. We went to meet the new Laei
District for which my companion was acting DL, and he told these
missionaries that Laei would be their first district in the mission
field. Because I am joined at the hip with Elder Fox (figuratively
speaking) I attended the same ADL orientation meeting he did and read
the same material that was handed out. I have no idea where he got
this idea from, and I contradicted him in front of the new district.
Big mistake.
We
then took the district over to our branch meeting room to meet with
the second counselor of the branch. We left them there and returned
to our class room. On the way Elder Fox said something about not
being able to believe what I said. I don’t remember exactly how he
said it. Initially I thought he was referring to a joke I had just
made in the branch meeting room. He clarified that he was talking
about my contradicting him on whether Laei would be the new
missionaries district when they got to Hawaii. I then compounded my
error my saying “Well, they’re not going to Laei as their first
district. That’s just the name of the district here.”
“No,
Laei will be their first district.”
“No
it won’t,” I said. “Their mission president couldn’t have
called the MTC and told them where their first district was going to
be. He doesn’t know that yet. In any case, three of them are
going to different missions than the rest. And for all we know, Laei
isn’t big enough to be a district.”
We
walked into class arguing. It wasn’t long before I started feeling
guilty. I suddenly remembered my brother Geoff telling the prep
class that we should never contradict our companions in front of
others. I had just done exactly that, and now I was feeling low.
Fox and I went out into the hallway and he
apologized. I was the one who should have. He said he was trying to
impress the new district, and he said he was wrong. This just made
things worse for me and I struggled for something to say. I forgave
him and we went back into class. I missed the opportunity to
apologize for what I had done.
January 27, 1988
Dear Mom, Dad, and Family,
Life is great here at the MTC. It's hard to believe I've been here two weeks already. One more left.
About my comp, he's a big guy from Arizona. About all he ever talks about are the relationships he had with girls back home. He tried to get to know me, but every time I started talking, it seemed, he interrupted me with his own story. Sometimes this guy really drives me bananas. I'm doing all I can, I just don't know how to deal with him sometimes. There are times, however, when things are good.
Then there was this morning He starts getting up at 4:45 so we can go to the temple, but I didn't want to go. I'm concentrating so much on my mission that I guess I'm not into the spirit of temple work right now. Last week I went but I couldn't get into the spirit of the whole thing. Last night, when our district was talking about going to the temple to do sealings, my companion didn't ask whether I wanted to go or not. This morning he didn't say anything until he was ready to go, and I said that I'd rather not go. So we didn't go.
At 6:30 I was up and ready to go to breakfast, but my companion had gone back to sleep. I woke him up and mentioned breakfast and he said he wasn't hungry. I couldn't believe it, that he would do that just to get even. He then proceeded to sleep until 10:30.
Now, you don't have to tell me I was in the wrong this morning, I already know that, but I did not do it to spite him.
One minute things are great, but the next there is a little contention between us. It's getting hard to tell which end is up. I don't know what to do.
I get a long great with my other roommates and the rest of my district, they are a great bunch of guys. The spirit is so strong here it is incredible, I'm learning a lot. The food is pretty good and I am eating well. Ever since my first Friday here I just haven't had time to get homesick.
Well, life is good. I'll write you next P-day.
Love
Douglas
Perhaps one reason I didn't feel like going to the temple that morning was the guilt I felt over contradicting my companion in front of the new district. Maybe, if I had found a way to apologize, things could have been different.
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