At our branch meeting, my companion was called to be an acting district leader for a new district arriving the following Wednesday. After the branch meeting, we had Sacrament Meeting, during which I had trouble staying awake. I confess to feeling a little bit disillusioned; I wrote in my journal that everything seemed backwards, and that I was “suffering bad.”
Then I remembered something my older brother had said in a missionary prep class -- he was one of the teachers. Sometimes things go this way, with the missionaries who obey the rules struggling while other, less obedient missionaries have success. In the long run, however, the more obedient missionaries will be more blessed. I was still feeling down, however, so I took a moment to say a silent prayer. I prayed with much strength for guidance and things got better after that.
After our meetings we went back to our room where my companion and I must have had the longest companionship inventory ever. We got to conflict resolution and just talked and talked, getting to know each other better. As it would turn out, however, this was probably the high point of the three week companionship. Still, I was doing better since I had prayed for guidance. When in doubt, pray.
I suppose that I had some expectation of being called to leadership as I had held leadership positions in my Aaronic priesthood quorums. I was secretary when a deacon, second counselor when a teacher, and first assistant when a priest. But on my mission, I was never called into leadership; the highest position I attained was senior companion. I was asked to give a talk once at a zone conference near the end of my mission and as I talked about working with unwearyingness, I mentioned that I had never been a district leader, a zone leader, or an A.P., and then I said, “Thank heavens.” By then my perspective had changed; being a regular missionary allowed me to focus on the work without having to do the administrative stuff that goes along with leading a district or zone.
I had a zone leader once who argued that we should not measure success by leadership positions or even by how hard we worked, much less by baptisms. Rather, we should measure success on a mission by the strength of our relationship with the Savior – which, by the way, can only be helped by hard work. Consider that “when ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God” and “how knoweth a man a master whom he hath not served.” Missionaries have a wonderful opportunity to come to know their Savior as they serve him.
I had some wonderful leaders on my mission, and they helped me to become the best missionary that I could be. The Lord has need of leaders, and if you are ever called to leadership it is because He sees the qualities of leadership, or at least the potential for them, within you. What it does not mean is that you are better, more obedient, or more successful than other missionaries. Leadership is a responsibility rather than a validation.
Many great missionaries are never called to leadership; there are, after all, only so many leadership slots. There were quite a few elders in my mission who I thought could have made great district, zone leaders or assistants to the president, but who were never called to those positions. At one point my mission president created the position of traveling A.P., because he felt that he had four elders who would make great assistants but only two regular assistant positions (each of my first three zone leaders were called as A.P or traveling A.P.).
There were also some elders in my mission who were junior companions throughout their entire two years. Some lacked a certain level of maturity while others were just lazy and disobedient. I had one companion who fit the former profile -- I sent him home as his last comp. He was a good guy and was willing to work as hard as his companions wanted to, but in some ways he was still twelve years old. He managed to finish reading the Book of Mormon just once in his two years – when we found out we were near each other in book we bet a 2 liter bottle of soda on who could finish first. I think he was a successful missionary and, while limited in some ways, he went home a better person.
For awhile on my mission I worried that I might not make senior companion, and I did end up taking longer than others. But that was probably my fault as I waited several months before passing off the 60 odd scriptures we were supposed to memorize. Don't do what I did, pass of the discussions in your first two months, memorize and pass off any scriptures you have to memorize, and do anything else you are required to do as quickly as you can – within your first four to six months at most. Dot your “I”s and cross your “T”s early.
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