"Let George Do It"

In the Spencer W. Kimball talk I linked to in yesterday's post, Elder Kimball said that at some point missionaries need to speak up when they see other missionaries breaking the rules.  "This is not the program," or, "This is my mission, too."  There was a time early in my mission when I wish that I had spoken up.

One of the rules of my mission prohibited exercising with free weights, which, it turns out, quite a few missionaries wanted to do.  One elder, who hoped to play football at BYU after his mission, wrote to then-head coach Lavell Edwards and asked for a letter that he could show the mission president on the importance of weight training.  Coach Edwards wrote back to say that the elder should obey all mssion rules, including the one against the use of free weights.  I don't know why my mission president instituted this rule when he took over the mission, but, then, I didn't have to know.

While I was still in my first area, at least two of my apartment mates were among those elders who didn't like the weightlifting rule.  A member, who lived close to our apartment, had a home gym and invited us to use it whenever we wanted.  One night, the other three elders decided that they were going to start going to this home gym every night after our 9:30 check in call.

They also decided that I would be the one to make the phone call to the zone leaders to report that we were in for the night – one of our zone leaders was also acting as our district leader at this time.  There is a tradition in the U.S. Navy of having the most junior officer in the wardroom do the menial, even dirty, tasks.  The other officers will say “Let George do it,” George being the nickname for the junior officer.  Well, in this case at least, I was George.

So, I made the call and then we all went over to the member’s home gym.  I went only because I could not be at the apartment alone -- well, maybe I could have, except that my older RM brother had advised me just before I got on the airplace to never leave my companion.  Unbeknownst to us, while we were out the zone leaders had called back, and when we got back to the apartment they were there waiting for us.  While I believed I was in a position where I had had little choice, I still had to admit to the zone leaders that I had lied.

Did I have a choice?  Well, of coure, we always have a choice.  My problem was that for several reasons I didn't have much confidence.  I was allowing myself to feel intimidated by other elders just because they had been out longer than I had been.  I'd had a rough time with my MTC companion, and when I got to my first area was in a mood to be more cautious, so I became even more introverted, which caused problems with my trainer.  When my third companion and our two flat mates wanted to go to the home gym after we were supposed to be in for the night, I believed there was nothing I could do to stop them.

Not long after this I had a conversation with one of my zone leaders, I think he knew that things haden’t been going too great for me. I told him how I felt, that I was discouraged and had a confidence problem. I said that I had come into the mission field with an inferiority complex because I had grown up with heavy persecution in school, in the neighborhood, and even at home. I said that I didn’t know who I was.  My zone leader told me that he, too, had faced a lot of persecution, and that everyone comes out not knowing who they are. He said the best thing I could do is share my feelings with others, particularly my companion. He said that I would learn more just talking about myself with them.

We then went out into the living room to join my companion and the other zone leader, and I told them what I had just told the first zone leader.  The three elders made some comments, presented some good ideas, and even paid me some compliments. They said I had a good jump shot, and if I had enough time I would usually make the shot. One zone leader also complimented my mind; he said I was a good thinker and had a good memory. I didn’t think anybody noticed such things.

Two weeks later we had a zone conference, and during the afternoon testimony session, I got up to speak.  I started by reading 1 Nephi 3:7, “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.”

Then I turned to Helaman 10:4-5, “Blessed art thou, Nephi, for those things which thou hast done; for I have beheld how thou hast with unwearyingness declared the word, which I have given unto thee, unto this people. And thou has not feared them, and hast not sought thine own life, but hast sought my will, and to keep my commandments. And now, because thou hast done this with such unwearyingness, behold, I will bless thee forever; and I will make thee mighty in word and in deed, in faith and in works; yea, even that all things shall be done unto thee according to thy word, for thou shalt not ask that which is contrary to my will.”

I then said that I had committed with myself before coming out to live the mission rules. In the MTC that had been easy, but when I got out in the mission field I was timid of what others might think, so I had not been diligent in keeping my commitment and I considered that to be a transgression. I blamed myself for the lack of anything going on in the area I was assigned to. I apologized to the mission president and then committed with him to live the mission rules. I said that it didn’t matter to me what others thought because I knew that I would be blessed in the long run.

I was worried that some of the missionaries might think I was brown-nosing, but mostly I got comments saying that what I did took guts. My flat-mates said I did a good job, and the mission president thanked me and said that he knew I would hang in there.

Lock Your Heart

While on a mission tour in Latin America in 1968, then-Elder Spencer W. Kimball gave a rather stern talk to a group of missionaries.  If you haven't read this before, read it now.  If you have read it, read it again.

http://missionaryhelper.com/talks/lockheart.html

This advice to lock your heart is important, not just on a mission, but also after you get married.  Certain activities may seem innocent, but if persisted in they can lead to trouble.

One of my district leaders told me a story one day.  When he arrived in the mission field, and had his first interview with the mission president, he found a name tag stuck in the couch in the president's office.  The elder it belonged to had been the highest number of baptisms in the mission, yet he was sent home early for an indiscretion.  This elder had engaged in activities which initially seemed innocent and harmless, but as he persisted he soon found himself in a situation that quickly got out of hand.

Godly Sorrow

I said last week that "Repentance is always possible, but it is not easy, and it would be better to avoid, if possible, making the mistakes that would then require our penitence" (http://thewholemissionary.blogspot.com/2013/11/when-i-have-grown-foot-or-two.html)

Because we are human, mistakes are inevitable, yet some mistakes can be avoided.  General Charles Krulak, the commandant of the U.S. Marine Corps in the late 1990s, defined a mistake as an error made when, in the attempt to do something right, someone makes a wrong choice.  God has given us council, in the scriptures and through church leaders, on dangers such as drugs, alchohol and pornography.  If we heed this council, and give it our best effort, we can avoid these pitfalls.

What would not be a mistake is to deliberately make a wrong choice in the belief that one can repent later.  In this case the individual is choosing to do something they know that they should not do.  Rather than a mistake, this would be a willful act.  Repentance is still possible, but in this case it would be more difficult than if an individual, doing their best, fell short because of human weakness.

In his first epistle to Corinth, Paul called the people to repentance, which caused them sorrow.  Paul acknolwedge this in his second epistle to the Corintians:

"For though I made you sorry with a letter, I do not repent, though I did repent: for I perceive that the same espistle hath made you sorry, though it were but for a season.  Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing.  For godly sorrow worketh repentence to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death" (2 Corinthians 7:8-10).

There are two things to take from this scripture: first, the Corinthian saints felt godly sorrow and repented of their sins; second, godly sorrow for sin leads to repentance, while worldly sorrow leads to spiritual death.  It is not enough to be sorry for our sins, we have to find this godly sorrow.  It is also not enough to just stop doing that which we need to repent from doing.  Worldly sorrow, ironically, leads us to spiritual death because it keeps us from true repentance.

“It is not uncommon," said President Ezra Taft Benson, "to find men and women in the world who feel remorse for the things they do wrong. Sometimes this is because their actions cause them or loved ones great sorrow and misery. Sometimes their sorrow is caused because they are caught and punished for their actions. Such worldly feelings do not constitute ‘godly sorrow.'"

President Benson went on to say,  “Godly sorrow is a gift of the Spirit. It is a deep realization that our actions have offended our Father and our God. It is the sharp and keen awareness that our behavior caused the Savior, He who knew no sin, even the greatest of all, to endure agony and suffering. Our sins caused Him to bleed at every pore. This very real mental and spiritual anguish is what the scriptures refer to as having ‘a broken heart and a contrite spirit’ (Doctrine & Covenants 20:37). Such a spirit is the absolute prerequisite for true repentance” 

Look again the image above of Christ in Gethsemane and consider your contributions to the agony and suffering he endured.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf has said that "Godly sorrow inspires change and hope through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Worldly sorrow pulls us down, extinguishes hope, and persuades us to give in to further temptation.  Godly sorrow leads to conversion and a change of heart. It causes us to hate sin and love goodness. It encourages us to stand up and walk in the light of Christ’s love. True repentance is about transformation, not torture or torment. Yes, heartfelt regret and true remorse for disobedience are often painful and very important steps in the sacred process of repentance. But when guilt leads to self-loathing or prevents us from rising up again, it is impeding rather than promoting our repentance."

President Uchtdorf said further, "When we make mistakes, when we sin and fall, let us think of what it means to truly repent. It means turning our heart and will to God and giving up sin. True heartfelt repentance brings with it the heavenly assurance that 'we can do it now.'”

Watch this video (at LDS.org) and consider the concept of godly sorrow:

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2012-06-2350-godly-sorrow-leads-to-repentance?lang=eng 

Sources:

New Testament Video Guide.  Accessed at LDS.org. http://www.lds.org/manual/new-testament-video-guide/chapter-16-2-corinthians-7?lang=eng

Benson, E. T. (1988). Teachings of President Ezra Taft Benson.  Salt Lake City: Bookcraft.

Uchtdorf, D. F. "You Can Do It Now." Accessed at LDS.org. http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/you-can-do-it-now?lang=eng&query=godly+sorrow

"They that Go Down to the Sea in Ships"

In May 1943, the submarine USS Jack (SS-259) was in transit from the Panama Canal to Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, when she encountered some bad weather.  For several days the sub slowed her pace as she rode out the storm.  Jack was a new boat, on her way to war in the Pacific, and many of her crew had not experienced weather like this at sea, thus many became seasick.

Ensign James F. Calvert, fresh out of the Naval Academy at Annopolis, and submarine school at New London, Connecticut, was not troubled too badly by the storm, at least not initially.  On the first night of the big storm, Calvert was determined to not miss a meal, but when he reached the wardroom, where the officers ate, he was suprised to find only one other officer in the cramped compartment.

Lieutenant Miles Refo* was an experienced sailor, having served in the fleet for two years before going to sub school, and his surprise at seeing Calvert was "more than mild."  Calvert stuck it out long enough to get through the main dish of pork roast, but he skipped the apple pie desert.  Even so, he won respect from Refo.

"Day after day the storm went on," wrote Calvert many years later.  "Our speed of advance was well below plan; we were going to be at least a day late getting to Pearl.  Slowly but surely, however, our seasick casualties were getting their sea legs and returning to their watches, despite the continuing storm."

Clavert went on to say, "I have always been blessed with a strong stomach, and seasickness has not been one of my problems.  But there is such a thing as sea-weariness.  You're not sick, but you are so tired of hanging on, so tired of being unable to sleep without being tossed out, or nearly out, of your bunk that you wonder if the storm will ever abate -- and if you will ever feel normal and energetic again."

Calvert pulled out his Bible and read from Psalms 107:

"They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters; these see the works of the Lord and his wonders in the deep.  For he commandeth and raiseth the stormy wind, which lifteth up the waves thereof.  They mount up to the heaven, they go down again to the depths: their soul is melted because of trouble.  They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man, and are at their wits end."

According to Calvert, the psalmist could have written that passage after a walk through Jack during the storm.  "It was strangely comforting for me," he would write, "to read those words, for they reminded me that men of the sea have been going through such storms for centuries -- and most of them survived in ships not nearly as sturdy as ours."

As with the storms of the sea, so with the storms of life.  Men and women have been experiencing adversity for centuries, and most of them survived as well.

"Finally, as will all storms," wrote Calvert, "this one began to subside.  The gray skies, which seemed to have been there forever, began to break and show patches of blue; the wind swung around to the east (a good sign in that part of the Pacific) and eased to a pleasant ten or twelve knots."

Again, so it is with life.  The moments of adversity we experience end.  Sometimes we are called upon to experience an intense challenge of a relatively short duration, while at others the challenge may be less intense it may last much longer.  Whatever their nature, the storms of life will subside sooner or later, though they may be succeeded by other storms.

"Life at sea," wrote Calvert, "is not filled with diversions comparable to those ashore.  Any break in the daily routine is welcome -- even a storm.  But there is nothing, absolutely nothing, so wonderful as the feeling of having weathered a truly bad storm and come out the other side with the ship in good condition, all hands surviving without injury, and normal routine reestablished.  Things are made shipshape once again below.  Wet clothes are dried out and restowed.  Best of all, the platform under your feet once again is nearly stable.  If that experience does not lift your spirits, then they are not liftable -- at least not at sea."

Source:

Calvert, J. F. (1995). Silent Running: My Years on a World War II Attack Submarine. New York: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

*Calvert does not give Refo's rank, only states that he was Annapolis class of 1938.  I presume that Refo was at least a Lieutenant (junior grade), particluarly as he did not like the idea of ensigns without prior sea duty serving in submarines.

"When I Have Grown a Foot or Two"

I have written before about the missionary prep program I attended during the eight months before I left on my mission.  In addition to classes on Sunday mornings at the Bountiful High seminary building, each Tuesday night we met in the home of one of the prep instructors for a less formal meeting.  After four or five months I took the opportunity one Tuesday night to bear my testimony.

I talked about how impressed I was that some of the rebel-types I knew from high school were now attending prep and getting ready to serve missions.  I compared it to the passage in Alma when the Sons of Mosiah return from their mission to the Lamanites and meet up with Alma the younger (see Alma 17).  The joy that Alma had that his friends were still his brethren in the Lord was somewhat like the joy I felt as we prepared to serve our missions.

Then I talked about how my mission was something I had been anticipating for a number of years.  I used an analogy that had me in a dark hallway with a light at the far end.  The light was my mission and was my ultimate destination; yet there were other hallways shooting off from this main hallway and occasionally I strayed down one of them.  But I always came back to the main hallway and now I was on the homestretch.

"I hope they call me on a mission, When I have grown a foot or two", these were words we sang in primary as kids.  "I hope by then I will be ready, To teach and preach and work as missionaries do."  Rather than just hoping to be ready, I was working to prepare by faithfully attending the missionary prep meetings, and taking as many opportunities as I could to teach mock discussions.  I had faced adversity in this effort, I had been tested, I had perservered, and now the light grew brighter with every passing day.

In addition to the primary song above, I can recall being given a savings banks for coins to save for a missionary fund.  There were other moments that pointed me toward a mission as the church sought to encourage young boys to prepare to serve.  "We [were] as the army of Helaman, we [had] been taught in our youth, we [would] be the Lord's missionaries, to bring the world his truth."

"We know his plan, and we will prepare, Increase our knowledge through study and prayer. Daily we'll learn until we are called To take the gospel to all the world."

Then we got older, we entered high school, we encountered temptations, we made mistakes.  But because of the sacrifice of the Lord whom we would serve, we could repent and return to the path that would prepare us to serve.  Repentance is always possible, but it is not easy, and it would be better to avoid, if possible, making the mistakes that would then require our penitence.

In October 2002, Elder M. Russell Ballard said that they church was "raising the bar" on missionary standards.   "The day of the 'repent and go' missionary is over," Elder Ballard said.  "Some young men have the mistaken idea that they can be involved in sinful behavior and then repent when they're 18 1/2 so they can go on their mission at 19. While it is true that you can repent of sins, you may or you may not qualify to serve." 

Elder Ballard went on to say,  "This isn't a time for spiritual weaklings. We cannot send you on a mission to be reactivated, reformed, or to receive a testimony. We just don't have time for that."

In the two years following Elder Ballard's address on rasing the bar, the number of missionaries serving fell from near 62,000 to about 51,000.  Yet, this effort to raise standards may only have been a prologue.  Several years after raising the bar, the church lowered the age of eligibility for missionaries, and since then the number of missionaries serving has increased to 80,000.

If I had been called at 18 to serve, I would not have been ready, though I was better prepared then than when I was 17.  At 17, in the summer before my senior year in high school, I started reading the Book of Mormon for the first time, upon completion I started reading the book again, finshing it just before leaving on my mission.  I have said that there were lessons that I needed to go on a mission to learn, but there were lessons I had to learn before I was ready to go.

Last May I posted a video of Elder Russell M. Nelson discussing how every home can become a mini-missionary training center.  Perhaps one thing parents can do to help their children prepare to serve, especially as teenagers, would be to sit down with them at the beginning of each year to discuss what they can do over the next 365 day to prepare for their missions and then helping them set goals.  For example, at age 16 a goal might be set to start and finish reading the Book of Mormon.  At age 17, a goal may be set to study from the Preach My Gospel manual, to make lesson plans and teach mock discussions.

Now is the time to prepare, not the day you enter the MTC.

Sources:

Facts and Statistics, Mormon News Room.org.  http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/facts-and-stats

Ballard, M. R. (2002). The Greatest Generation of Missionaries. http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2002/10/the-greatest-generation-of-missionaries?lang=eng&query=

Stack, P. F. (2005). Unintended Consequences of Church's 'Raising the Bar'. Salt Lake Tribune. http://www.sltrib.com/ci_2890646

Cox, D. P. (2013). Every Home Can Be a Mini-Missionary Training Center. The Whole Missionary. http://thewholemissionary.blogspot.com/2013/05/every-home-can-be-mini-missionary.html

Primary songs:
I Hope They Call Me On a Mission
We Will Bring the World His Truth (Army of Helaman)

The First Discussion

(The photo on the right is of the LDS chapel on Middlefield Rd in Palo Alto)

I had been in Palo Alto for two months and had just gotten a new companion, and this particular morning he asked me to pick the streets we would tract.  I got on my knees to pray for guidance and then picked two streets that I felt good about.  Off we went.

A teenage girl answered the third door on the first street and my companion gave his door approach: "We are sharing a message about Jesus Christ today and if you have 15-20 minutes we were wondering if we could come in and share that message with you.”  The girl said “Uh, yeah, I guess” and then she let us in.

My companion and I hadn't discussed what we would do if we got in a door, so I just tried to follow his lead.  He started by telling her about a few of our beliefs about Christ and then he introduced the Book of Mormon giving a brief overview up to Alma.  He turned it over to me and I talked about Christ’s visit to the people on this continent and then turned to Moroni’s Promise.  After I read the scripture and bore my testimony, my companion told the story of Joseph Smith's fisrt vision -- and I wondered if that was what he had expected me to do when it was my turn.

In any case, we gave her a copy of the Book of Mormon and left.  We had given her most of the first discussion, so my companion said we could count it on our weekly report.  I had my reservations because of what we didn't talk about, but I kept them to myself.  Regardless of what we put on the report that week, I never counted this as a discussion and that meant that I was still waiting to teach my first dicussion in the mission field.

The area we were in was extremely slow, and those few times my previous companion and I had gotten in a door we just gave a short presentation on the Book of Mormon.  I think that's why I continued talking about the Book of Mormon when it was my turn in this girl's home.  In retrospect, I should have counted this experience as a discussion because it would be a month and a half before I got the chance to teach another one.

At some point in the previous two months, my trainer and I had tracted into Leslie who lived on a street called Corina, which was at the far end of our area.  She was busy the day we first knocked on her door but asked us to come back another day.  When we did so a few weeks later, Leslie was busy again, so we gave her some pamphlets and promised to return.  The following week we rode all they way done to Corina to give her a copy of the Book of Mormon.  This time she had a few minutes and we gave her the short presentation about the book -- I didn't understand why we didn't take a few minutes more to give her first discussion.

But it gets better, because we didn't have a marked copy of the Book of Mormon -- during the first year of my mission we were supposed to be giving copies of the book that had several passages marked -- so we didn't actually give Leslie a copy of the Book of Mormon that day.  For the next couple of months I would go down to Corina with my next two companions only to find that she was either not home or too busy.  Finally, my last Thursday in Palo Alto, my third companion in the mission field and I got the chance I had been waiting four months for.

At first, it seemed like another missed chance when we arrived at Leslie's house only to find that she was not at home.  Feeling a little dejected at getting dogged, we crossed the street to sit down in some shade.  It came to pass, when we were about to get up and ride off, that Leslie suddenly drove up.  This time I took the first two principles of the discussion, which were about God and Jesus Christ, then I taught her the steps of prayer.

When my companion started teaching her about the Book of Mormon, we found out that Leslie had an anthroplogy degree.  Naturally, she had some concernes with the story of Lehi and whether Native Americans are his descendants.

Because of this my companion figured it would be at least three months before she would be baptized, if at all, and neither of us would be there for that.  My companion went home the following week, having completed his two years, and I was transfered down to Seaside.  None of that mattered, however, for I had finally taught a full discussion to a real investigator, thus closing the frustrating chapter that was Palo Alto.

One final note, one the way back to our apartment, my companion got a flat tire.  It took us 90 minutes to walk home.

The Subline Transfer

One particular Friday, early in my mission, I got a phone call from the mission office.  Well, the caller claimed he was in the mission office, I was pretty sure it was another elder in the district who had covered the phone's mouthpiece with some tissue to disguise his voice.  The caller said I in for "subline transfer," whatever that meant.  I asked my companion, who had been with me for a couple of weeks, what a subline transfer was and he said it was a special transfer.  So why not just call it a special transfer?

In any case, the caller said they were going to pick me up at 9:00 p.m. on Monday and they would take me to Seaside apartment, wherever that was.  I was pretty sure that this was a joke, but the term "subline" made it sound official.  If it wasn't real I would end up packing for nothing, but if it was real, and I didn't pack. . . .  A real Catch 22.

On Sunday evening, when my companion and I got back from our ward meetings, one of the other elders in the apartment said that the mission president had called.  The both of us, according to him, were now being transferred.  I thought I could trust this elder because we had been in the same apartment for the past two and a half months, were from the same hometown, and we got along well together.  Well, that clinched it for me and I started packing.

About an hour later, the other two elders in the district stopped by our apartment.  When they heard that I was packing they started laughing.  They said that it was all a joke, and that they had made up the term "subline transfer."  I had been had.

After unpacking I sat on the edge of my bed and sulked.  I could hear the other elders laughing out in the living room.  That's when it hit me that I had been taking things too seriously, not just the joke, but a lot of the comments made by other elders.  It occurred to me that I had a choice; I could sit there and feel sorry for myself, or I could lighten up.  I went out to the living room, admitted that they had gotten me, and then I laughed with them.  As I laughed I felt as if a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

When you get a bunch of 19-20 year old kids together -- let's face it, that's what we were -- you can expect some practical jokes and other hijinks.  One pair of elders were wrestling in their apartment one day and broke their couch.  In another apartment, in another area, my flat mates decided to have a water fighter one evening -- inside the apartment!  While I chose not to participate, I still had to have a sense of humor about it.  One of the most important pieces of survival equipment for a mission, and life in general, is a sense of humor.  If you can laugh at things that otherwise might worry you or cause you stress, then life becomes more enjoyable.

About two and a half weeks after the subline transfer joke, there was a real special transfer.  The other elder in the apartment who was from the same hometown, was transferred to the office and a new elder was transferred in.  With the change we asked permission to make other changes, switching the companionships around with the result that the new elder coming in was now my companion.  This switch ended up being one of the best things to happen to me on my mission.

Three weeks later I was transferred to a new area.  The ward I was assigned to was called the Carmel Ward even though it was actually in a town called Seaside, which was sandwiched between Monterey and Fort Ord, a military base long since closed.  While most of the ward was in Seaside, there was a rural area called Carmel Valley that was also part of the ward, and that is how it got its name.  Carmel by the Sea was actually part of the Pacific Grove Ward.  So, ironically, I ended up in Seaside apartment anyway.