The First Door

From my missionary journal:

"February 5, 1988, Friday – We went tracting today for my first time.  Didn’t get in on any doors but it was great.  Elder Grounds took the first couple and then it was my turn.  We were on this U-shaped street with several houses on the long side and just two on the short side.  My door came on the last house when the lady of the house answered.  She stuck her head of the window above the door and asked who we were.  She wasn’t interested and so we moved on.  As we were walking around the house to where we had left our bikes we suddenly realized that we had knocked on the back door!"

As I would discover later, in many neighborhoods in Palo Alto, the residents had a courtyard with a gate which some would use as their front door while others left the gate unlocked so visitors could go to the actual front door.  Apparently, my companion thought the gate to this home's back yard area was actually a gate to a front courtyard, and that's why we went to the back door.  Oops!

For me, tracting didn't get any easier the next day:

"On my three or four doors I got in only one word, 'hi.' No one was interested and they knew who we were. But Californians, at least in this part of the state, are too polite to slam the door in your face. Even so, it was a pretty discouraging street."

My companions and I would encounter many reactions during the next two years, but I can't recall a single incident where the resident slammed the door in our faces.  Northern Californians had a reputation for being polite, on the roads as well as on their doorsteps; I have found it to be ironic that, considering the predominant religion, Utahn's have the opposite reputation, but I digress.

My companion got sick, so several days passed before we got out to work again.  After tracting without success in the morning, we went on team-ups with the other two elders in our apartment:

"We got to the street we had selected for tracting, and Elder Lewis (names have been changed to protect the innocent) and I started to go door-to-door. It was refreshing to be with a different elder. Right away I was more assertive; I even took the first door. We were coming to the end of one side of the street and we came to house number 915.

"It was my door and as I gave my approach the man who answered the door expressed some interest by asking how long it would take. I said 10 minutes. We stepped inside the gate and sat down at a picnic table in his front patio/courtyard area. Then we started to tell him about the Book of Mormon. He expressed interest and we asked him to read the book. He agreed and we gave him a copy. We also gave him our names and our phone number before leaving.

"Wow! I got in my first door! I’m really fired up. This will definitely help my confidence. Life is good!"

That was the my eighth day in Palo Alto; the slowness of the area, combined with my companion's health issues, were already weighing me down and I was feeling discouraged and lonely.  This area was a rather affluent one, and times were good.  I saw many BMWs, Mercedes-Benzes, Jaguars, and even some Italian super cars.  I heard rumors of a yellow Lamborghini Countach parked regularly in a downtown parking garage, but I never actually saw it.  In anycase, affluent areas can be difficult ones as prosperity can lead to spiritual complacency.  As we see over and over in the Book of Mormon, the Nephites tended to forget about God when they were prosperous.

After experiencing problems with my companion in the MTC, I was no doubt of a mind to be very cautious in dealing with my trainer and apartment mates.  Additionally, I allowed myself to feel intimidated by these three elders.  Actually, my district leader and his comp were good guys, but my trainer thought I was much too quiet and, perhaps, even blamed me for the members in the area not wanting us to teach their friends.  That was while we were together, much later he apologized and we became good friends.  Nonetheless, the two months we spent together were difficult, compounded by some health issues my comp was having.

On top of all of that, I didn't get any mail during my first two weeks and was experiencing money troubles due to my insistence on using an out of state checking account.  Eventually I started transferring money each month to an instate account which the mission had helped me set up when I arrived in the field.  Until I started doing that it was always a hassle, which often annoyed my comp, to go to the bank to get cash so I could by groceries.

As for the mail, that was probably my fault.  You can be too rigid in following certain rules, like writing home only on P-day.  I no doubt waited until my first P-day in Palo Alto to write home with my new address.  It is within the spirit of the law to drop a post card in the mail with a short note that all is well, so your parents will know you are okay as well as where to send letters.

When you're having a bad day or week, getting in a door tracting, or having the opportunity to teach someone can suddenly make it all worthwhile.

Gaining Favor In the Sight of Our Friends

We read in the seventh chapter of 1 Nephi, that the sons of Lehi returned to Jerusalem to "bring down Ishmael and his family into the wilderness" (verse 2).  What happened next is something the ward mission leader in my first area often referred to.

"And it came to pass that we went up unto the house of Ishmael, and we did gain favor in the sight of Ishmael, insomuch that we did speak unto him the words of the Lord" (verse 4).

Nephi doesn't tell us how he and his brothers gained Ishmael's favor; we can presume, however, that they didn't give him money, because they didn't have any.  They didn't give him land, for they were leaving Jerusalem behind for good.  What seems the most likely is that they performed some act of service.

"And it came to pass that the Lord did soften the heart of Ishmael, and also his household, insomuch that they took their journey with us down into the wilderness to the tent of our father" (verse 5).

Several centuries later, the sons of King Mosiah turned down the opportunity to rule the kingdom in order to go on a mission to the Lamanites.  They left Zarahemla and journeyed many days in the wilderness, "and they fasted much and prayed much that the Lord would grant unto them a portion of his spirit to go with them, and abide with them, that they might be an instrument in the hands of God to bring, if it were possible, their brethren, the Lamanites, to the knowledge of the baseness of the traditions of their fathers, which were not correct" (Alma 17:9).

As we will learn, the sons of Mosiah didn't march into the land of the Lamanites and start telling them that the traditions of their fathers was wrong.  After entering his first area, the land of Ishmael, Ammon was captured and taken before the king.  Nephites captured by the Lamanites were either killed, imprisoned or cast out of the land.  The king, asked Ammon if he wanted to live among the Lamanites, and the missionary answered, perhaps wryly, "Yea, I desire to dwell among this people for a time; yea, and perhaps until the day I die" (verse 23).

The king found this answer pleasing and ordered that Ammon's bands should be loosed.  Then the king offered one of his daughters to Ammon to be his wife, but this was against the rules of the mission.  Instead, Ammon offered to be a servant unto the king, and as a servant he was sent into the fields to watch the flocks.

We all know the story; some rustlers came and scattered the flocks, and Ammon's fellow servants started to panic.  The missionary assured them that everything would be fine and then set about gathering the flocks.  Again the rustlers came, and this time Ammon stood to face them.  The rustlers liked the odds, but Ammon cast stones at them with a sling, and this made them angry.  They came forth with there clubs only to have the Nephite cut their arms off with his sword.  Finally, the rustlers had had enough and they slinked away.

While his fellow servants hurried to report what had happened to the king, Ammon went to feed the king's horses and prepare his chariots.  When the king heard this, he was even more impressed.  Finally, with the horses and chariots prepared, Ammon appeared before the king who, for what was likely the first time in his life, was speechless.  Ammon turned to leave, but another servant said that the king would like him to stay.

"What wilt thou that I should do for thee, O king?" asked Ammon (Alma 18:14).  But the king remained silent, and an hour passed before Ammon again asked, "What desirest thou of me."  Again the king was silent, but now the missionary was filled with the spirit, and he discerned the thoughts of the king.

"Is it because thou hast heard that I defended thy servants and thy flocks, and slew seven of their brethren with the sling and sword, and smote of the arms of others, in order to defend thy flocks and thy servants; behold, is it this that causeth thy marvelings" (verse 16).  This may have been easy to guess, but what followed went to the root of the matter.

"I say unto you, what is it, that thy marvelings are so great?  Behold, I am a man, and am thy servant; therefore, whatsoever thou desirest, which is right, that will I do" (verse 17).  The king marveled at this, knowing that Ammon could discern his thoughts, for he had been wondering if the Nephite was the Great Spirit of Lamanite tradition.  Despite Ammon's declaration that he was just a man, the king asked him if he was this Great Spirit.

"I am not," answered Ammon.

"How knowest thou the thoughts and intents of my heart?" asked the king.  "Tell me by what power ye slew and smote off the arms of my brethren that scattered my flocks."

"Wilt thou harken unto my words," asked Ammon, "if I tell thee by what power I do these things? And this is the thing that I desire of thee.

"Yea," answered the king, "I will believe all thy words."

And so Ammon taught the king, and the Lord softened his heart and he was converted, being the first of thousands of Lamanites who would accept the gospel of Jesus Christ.  Ammon had gained favor in the sight of the king, just as the sons of Lehi had gained favor in the sight of Ishmael.

Like Ammon and Nephi, we should give Christlike service joyfully to our friends before extending, with love and respect, invitations to learn about the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.  We should first gain favor in the sight of our friends, if we don't they may be put off by our premature boldness.  We should have the patience to set the table before we eat.  If our friends decline our invitations, we should continue to be their friends and continue to give service, then they may know that our friendship is sincere and real, and not just a vehicle for telling them about our faith.

When members and missionaries work together, great things are brought to pass.

Flying Out

I arrived in the mission field on Wednesday, February 3, 1988, here are some excerpts from my missionary journal on leaving the MTC and flying out to San Jose, California:

"Monday and Tuesday were pretty hard.  On Monday we said good bye to the sisters in our district as well as to our afternoon teacher.  On our afternoon walk around the MTC we had a snowball fight, as we often did.  Tuesday morning we went for one last walk with our morning teacher.  Two or three snowballs were thrown, but that was it.  We crossed the street to where there was a good view of the temple and we all took pictures of the group with the temple in the background.  We took a photo of our morning teacher with all of our cameras around his neck as if he was a Japanese tourist.  Then we said goodbye to him

"During the afternoon we had a half-day P-day to get ready for our departure early the next morning.  After doing our laundry and writing some last letters home, we walked across the BYU campus to a pizza place and video store called Sounds Easy Pizza and Video.  One of our teachers had called ahead with our orders.  We paid for the pizzas and then went next door to a fast food place (then Hardee’s, now Burger King) to eat – we did buy drinks from the fast food place.  Many of us couldn’t eat our entire pizzas so we took them back to the MTC.  That night I traded a slice with someone and had my first taste of Hawaiian Pizza with pineapple and Canadian bacon.

"That night Elder Boyd K. Packer spoke at the Devotional; it was awesome.  Most of us decided to stay up instead of go to bed because we would have had to get up at 1:00 a.m. anyway.  We packed and talked.  A couple of elders did some Indian leg wrestling.  In one of the rooms we found a time capsule.  There were these square metal panels -- like a light switch or power panel but without a light switch or power outlet – and we decided to unscrew one.  That’s how we found the time capsule.  We decided to leave our own time capsule behind the panel.

"We checked out of our rooms at 2:30 a.m. and took our luggage up to the lobby of the main building.  We got our airline tickets and then boarded the bus for the airport.  We arrived at Salt Lake International at 5:00 a.m.  An hour later we checked our bags and got our boarding passes.  At about 6:30 a.am I met my family at the gate.  We said some quick goodbyes and the San Jose group boarded our flight.

"As I sat on the plane, waiting for it to taxi, I couldn’t fight back the tears.  I realized then that I would not see my family for two years.  When I entered the MTC I had known that I would see them in just three weeks, so it no big deal, but now it hit me that this was for real.  As the plane started to taxi, the man sitting next to me asked me where I was going.  'San Jose, California.'  He said that the church was strong there.  We took off and I watched the sunrise out my window.

"We landed in Las Vegas and had a layover of about an hour before catching our flight to San Jose.  The terminal in Vegas, with the slot machines, was a surreal experience after three weeks in the Spirit World.  We arrived in San Jose at 9:30 a.m.  Before we deplaned, Elder Norton had the idea that we should switch our name tags as a joke.  So, when I got off the plane, down the stairs and into the terminal, I was wearing Elder Norton’s tag.

"I was the first to meet President Leo Douglas, our mission president.  At first President Douglas didn’t suspect anything as he greeted each of us by the name on the tags we were wearing.  But then he came to Elder Jacobsen who was wearing the tag of Elder Sanchez, a Spanish speaking elder who had joined our group for the trip.  When that tipped him off, our mission president started identifying us by our real names, based on the photos we had sent the mission office after we each received our calls.  After sorting us out, President Douglas started laughing, and it was in that moment that I knew I was going to love my mission president.

"We then went to baggage claim to get our luggage.  For some reason there was a delay in the arrival of one of my suitcases.  While we were waiting these two guys in street clothes came up to us and started chatting.  In a matter of moments the conversation got tense, and soon we were having a bible bash.  It was then that the two gentlemen revealed that they were missionaries.  They were assigned to the mission office as mechanics and were there to pick us up.  They took us to the mission office for a quick tour, and then to the mission home for a nap, lunch and orientation.

"That night we had a testimony meeting in which we also partook of the sacrament.  For the second time that day I battled the tears.  I realized that after the next day I might never see these friends again.  It amazed me how we elders of the Foster City District could all become such good, strong friends in only three weeks.  I was also a little bit frightened for the challenges that lay ahead.  I had done a lot of role-playing, teaching mock discussions to members, during eight months of missionary prep, but now I was aware that everything was going to get very real, and very soon."

The next day I met my trainer and we were off to Palo Alto, my first area.  We spent most of the afternoon settling in.  I bought a 12-speed bicycle, some sheets, and some food.  On Friday we went out tracting and I did my first door approach -- but that's another story.

Why Does Character and Integrity Matter?

"The Great Wall of China, built as an impenetrable defense against barbaric hordes to the north, is a magnificent structure," wrote Vice Admiral Thomas J. Kilcline, Captain Irv Elson and Commander Carlos Sardiello (all U.S. Navy) in the July 2010 issue of the U.S. Naval Institute's Proceedings. "Many believed the wall guaranteed that no army could penetrate the country's borders" they continued. "However, during the first hundred years of its existence, China was invaded three times. Not once was [the wall] torn down or scaled by invading armies. Rather, each time invaders entered by bribing a gatekeeper and simply marching through the gates. The Chinese had so relied on the physical integrity of the formidable stone walls that they overlooked the importance of ensuring the moral integrity of their soldiers."

To read more, see this old TWM blog post:

http://thewholemissionary.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-importance-of-character-and.html

President Sandburg's Spiritual Prescriptions (The Best Two Years)

I have watched the move The Best Two Years a few times recently; it is a very good portrayal of life in the mission field.  Each of the four elders in the movie represent types of missionaries one might encounter in the field.  There are elders who lack motivation for whatever reason; there are elders who feel the need to correct their companions about little things, or at least stress silently over those things, and there are elders who are eager yet not ready for prime time.

One of the challenges on a mission is dealing with different types of people.  Some elders can get under your skin and try your patience.  You may have to try hard to continue exercising patience, and there may be times when you lose control as happened to one elder in the movie.  In the film, the mission president arrived just after one elder had hogtied another.  "Something is missing here," the mission president said before asking a third elder to recite Doctrine and Covenants 42:14:

"And the Spirit shall be given unto you by the prayer of faith; and if ye receive not the Spirit ye shall not teach."

The mission president, who was a doctor, then handed out some spiritual prescriptions, to be read each day or even multiple times a day.  To the elder who lost control he prescribed Matthew 5:38-39:

"Ye have heard that it hath been said, an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, that ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on the right cheek, turn unto him the other also."

When I was set apart as a missionary, my stake president gave a prescription of his own when he suggested that I read the Sermon on the Mount on every P-Day.  I didn't manage to read it that often, but I did do so many times on my mission and it had a large impact on my perspective.  I would recommend this prescription for missionaries and members everywhere.

A few years ago I listened as a caller to the Dr. Laura radio show said that she (the caller) needed to turn the other cheek.  Dr. Laura Schlesinger, a practicing member of the Jewish faith, asked what it meant to "turn the other cheek," does it literally mean that we should allow someone to keep hurting us, and the caller could not answer.  I thought about this question for a few days and I came to the conclusion that while we may not need to give others additional opportunities to cause us harm, we should not strike back against those who hurt us.

I had a companion who could be very sarcastic, and I felt sometimes that his sarcasm would cut me off at the knees.  One week I decided to give him a little taste of his own medicine by being a little sarcastic myself.  My companion objected rather strongly to my sarcasm, but I don't think he realized that I might be having a problem with his sarcasm as he continued to act as he had before.  Clearly, my decision to give him a taste of his own medicine was ineffective, neither was it the best way to handle the situation.

Quite some time after this, another of my companions brought me up short when he said that my sarcasm really bothered him.  I hadn't even realized that I was being sarcastic, but because my companion had raised the issue I reexamined my behavior and then worked to change it.  Missionaries have the opportunity each week to have what is called a companionship inventory, in which they can discuss challenges facing their companionship.  Here it is appropriate to discuss behaviors that might be a problem.

After my mission I learned something that might have been helpful in companionship inventories, the concept of "I" messages vs "you" messages.  Instead of saying "you really bug me when you do this," it would be better to say "I feel bad when you do this."  The motivational speaker Hyrum Smith once said that charity means separating behavior from the individual and that this allows us to say "I love you, but I have a problem with this behavior."  Instead of striking back, or just trying to endure a companion's behavior, a missionary should take the opportunity to address a behavior with "I" messages.

Some behaviors, however, are small enough -- such as saying "Book of Mormons" instead of "Books of Mormon," or saying "flip" or "fetch" with some frequency -- that they need not be addressed.  This leads us to the prescription given to the elder in the movie who tried his companion's patience, 2 Nephi 9:42:

"And whoso knocketh, to him will he open; and the wise, and the learned, and they that are rich, who are puffed up because of their learning, and their wisdom, and their riches -- yea, they are they whom he despiseth; and save they shall cast these things away, and consider themselves fools before God, and come down in the depths of humility, he will not open unto them."

This seems like strong medicine, but it is important that missionaries do not persist in thinking that they are smarter or better than their companions.  Missionaries need to remember that they, too, are human, and that they have their own weaknesses.  Even some of my best companions had little things that could bother me if I let them -- my sarcastic companion was one of my best, by the way.  I was more than aware of my own weaknesses as I worked hard to overcome them.

One final note, the motivational speaker Hyrum Smith, in discussing girlfriends back home, said "Only one in a hundred wait -- It's a useless statistic, but it's interesting."  Two of the elders in the movie received "Dear John" letters (tapes) at one point and both struggled to get over them.  Here's a tip: if this ever happens to you, pack up her photos and her letters and send them home.  Do not continue to look at the photos or read the letters, do not torture yourself, do not marinate in your feelings of sadness.  As Gordon B. Hinckley's dad wrote to him, "Forget yourself and go to work."  The first elder to get dumped wrote a note on the back of a photo he gave to the second elder: "It's all about the work."

Members & Missionaries: A Single Purpose & A Unified Vision

The missionary broadcast yesterday was fantastic!  I hope you took good notes.  I was impressed by the emphasis on the role members should take in sharing the gospel; that the members and the ward council should work with the missionaries.  As President Thomas S. Monson said, the greatest and most important duty is to share the gospel and the better way is through the members.  President Monson also promised that we would be blessed as we follow the council we have received.

Elder Russell M. Nelson pointed out the work of salvation excludes no one.  God wants all of his children to return to Him and to qualify for Eternal Life.  Members and missionaries should have a single purpose and a unified vision.  Success comes when members are involved and invitations are extended and it is crucial for members to get to know investigators.  As Elder Jeffry R. Holland noted, we ought to be eager to share the gospel.

After almost nine months and 70 posts, this blog is getting more views than ever and I thought I would take this opportunity to explain why I started this blog.  When the announcement was made changing the ages of eligibility for missionaries I was inspired and felt a desire to help young people prepare to serve.  I knew too many missionaries when I served who did not know why they were there, or who were there for the wrong reasons.  It is my belief that we have not always done a good job in preparing missionaries to serve.

There are exceptions as there are many wards and stakes out there which do a good job.  I was fortunate to attend for eight months an excellent missionary prep program in my stake.  Because of this I felt that I had a head start on most of the missionaries who were with me in the MTC.

In many ways, the challenges are greater now than they were when I served.  For example, missionaries today are being asked to make lesson plans for the discussions they will teach.  Gone are the days when the discussions were tightly scripted.

Okay, so why the name "The Whole Missionary" for this blog.   A couple of years ago I was reading an article in the U.S. Naval Institute's periodical Proceedings entitled “Developing the Whole Sailor” and I could not help but think of how to relate it to missionary work.  The article discussed the importance of character and integrity and I started thinking about what makes up the “Whole Missionary.”

Are character and integrity important for a missionary? The answer can be found in the fourth section of the Doctrine and Covenants, which missionaries everywhere repeat in groups as often as once a week – they did in my day, at least, and in my mission we also recited The Standard of Truth.

“. . . See that ye serve him with all your heart, might, mind, and strength, that ye may stand blameless before God at the last day.”

What do character and integrity demand of the missionary? They demand hard work. I hope that you are not disappointed in the simplicity of the answer. Actually, hard work might be an understatement when it sits alongside serving with all your heart, might, mind and strength.

What other attributes make up the Whole Missionary?

“And faith, hope, charity and love, with an eye single to the glory of God, qualify him for the work. Remember faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, charity, humility, diligence.”

Considering the emphasis in the broadcast yesterday, perhaps we should include members to those who might benefit from this blog.  As Elder L. Tom Perry said, members must change the way they think about missionary work.  Door-to-door tracting is largely ineffective -- though a few of the Lord's sheep may be found this way -- the most success in sharing the gospel comes as members and missionaries work together.

Members and missionaries should be one in purpose in missionary work.  Elder Perry noted that by our membership we are commissioned to invite others to come unto Christ.  It is time for us to understand that we as neighbors should share the gospel, and that we should extend our invitations with the proper love and respect.  The need and opportunity, said Elder Perry, has never been greater.

I should add here this disclaimer: I do not have a calling or any authority and cannot speak for the LDS Church.  I write only from my perspective as a returned missionary.  Any an all mistakes are mine alone.

Also, feedback, comments, and questions are welcome.

Missionary Broadcast Reminder

Just a quick reminder about "The Work of Salvation" missionary broadcast tomorrow afternoon at 4:00 p.m.  Your local stake might be showing the broadcast at the stake center, if not you can watch it online.  This is a great opportunity for prospective missionaries and their parents.  Be sure to take lots of notes (missionaries and prospective missionaries should take notes at any mission related meeting and general conference.  Get a notebook and be prepared.).

For more information:

http://www.lds.org/church/events/the-work-of-salvation-missionary-broadcast


http://thewholemissionary.blogspot.com/2013/06/the-work-of-salvation-missionary.html