Week 16: Shakeup

May 5, 1988

On Thursday and Friday we had to deal with a clogged kitchen sink.  In fact, on Friday morning we woke up to find that the sink had backed up, leaving us a nice mess to clean.

On Friday, the zone leaders came down for another chat.  Elder Baker talked with Elder Lake and then sat down with me; I guess he knew that things haven’t been too great with me.  I told him how I felt, that I was discouraged and had a confidence problem.  I said that I had come into the mission field with an inferiority complex because I had grown up with heavy persecution in school and in the neighborhood, and even at home.  I said that I didn’t know who I was.

Baker said that he had faced a lot of persecution, too, and that everyone comes out not knowing who they are.  He said that the best thing I could do is share my feelings with others, particularly my companion.  He said that I would learn more just talking about myself with them.

After that we went out to the living room and talked with Lake and Elder Beach.  We had a good discussion, particularly Baker and I, and we learned a lot about each other as I repeated what I had told Baker.  Lake, Baker and Beach each made some comments, presented some good ideas, and even paid me some compliments.  They said I have a good jump shot, and if I have enough time I usually make it.  Baker also complimented my mind; he said I was a good thinker and had a good memory.  I didn’t think anybody noticed such things.  I also found out Baker is a photographer like me.

Baker then told me something about his previous companion, Elder Sierra.  When he came out, Sierra was extremely shy and during his two month training period probably said no more than five words.  But Sierra set a goal to change and did a lot of soul searching.  Sierra is now an assistant to the president.

On Saturday, Elder Lake went down to the mission office with Elder Lima for an interview with President Douglas.  When they came back they said that President Douglas now has a better understanding of the situation. They also said that I should be leaving the next transfer for sure. Also, Lima will be going to the office to replace Elder Studebaker who is going home soon. President Douglas is thinking about leaving only two elders to cover both of the Palo Alto wards, but it is not definite yet.

On Tuesday, President Douglas spoke with Elder Whopper at the monthly leadership meeting.  Later in the day, Whopper told me that he is going to try and get me teaching on team-ups so I can get some experience.  The sentiment is great, but it is not the experience that is important.  I’m not sure how much it will help my confidence to teach someone else’s investigators.

On Tuesday night, Elder Able and I had a discussion about mission rules.  I remained firm in my position about living the rules.  He said that he doesn’t care much about “our” rules because they are not “his” rules.  In the Fresno mission he was allowed to do some things, like weightlifting, that he is not allowed to do here in the San Jose mission.

On Wednesday morning, we played some basketball with the zone leaders and the Menlo Park elders, followed by some football in the afternoon.  A couple of months ago, when we played some football up at Woodland Hills, I couldn't catch the ball to save my life; today I made a few catches, which means that I am getting better.

We were in for some big surprises when we got back to the flat.  Instead of finding Elder Lima waiting for us with Elder Able, we found an Elder Milo.  Lima had been transferred to the office to get some training from Studebaker before he goes home.

But wait, there’s more.  At first Elder Lake and I were going to be moved over to cover the Palo Alto First Ward.  After our zone meeting tonight, however, Lake risked calling President Douglas to suggest that he and Able take the First Ward while making Milo my companion.  President Douglas agreed to this arrangement, probably because it was a little less radical than swapping wards.

So, I've got another new companion!  Milo is going home to Shreveport, Louisiana in three weeks -- on the twenty-fifth -- less than twenty days, really.  I am beginning to feel like the mission orphan, like no one wants me.  I am getting juggled around like crazy, in the same apartment, in the same ward.

I am badly discouraged and things do not look to be getting better.  One year ago I started attending missionary prep, so I had eight months of prep and now I have been out four months.  I have yet to teach a real discussion to a real investigator, and I am certainly not actively teaching anyone anything.  I’m foundering as if I have gone aground on a coral reef.

Well, that's about all that is going on out here.  Hope all is well at home.

Love

Douglas

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As it would turn out, my new companion would be a breath of fresh air, and the change was probably one of the best things that could have happened.