Week 14: Discouraged

April 20, 1988

We have been getting a lot of rain here, lately.  This has been good as the water has been needed.  There has been talk of water rationing, so every drop of rain helps.  It rained cats and dogs on Thursday, so we did not get much work done.

On Friday, I drove the elder transferred in from the Fresno mission, Elder Able, up to his radiation treatment at the Stanford Medical Center.  After that we went on team-ups -- actually, I was with Elder Able as he did a lot of shopping on University Avenue.  In the evening, I followed Elder Able on my bike as he went for a run.

On Saturday morning, we had a district breakfast and study at the zone leaders' flat.  It was a good morning.  But then, the rest of the day, we did more shopping.  You have some interesting experiences on a mission.  I love going into stores in a shirt and tie; it doesn’t take very long before someone approaches you and starts asking questions about the merchandise.  “I’m sorry,” you say, “I don’t work here.”  My personal record is four times in the same store.

One reason we did so little on Saturday was that it started raining again in the afternoon.  It was a hard rain, too.  Riding bikes in that kind of weather seems like a bad idea.

When I talked with President Douglas last week, I told him how discouraged I was with how slow things were going here.  He said that he felt things would get better in the next week.  Unfortunately, with the exception of the stake presidency, the bishopric and the ward mission leader, it does not seem that many people in this area are excited about missionary work.

At the same time, I feel like I am getting a lot of verbal abuse from the elders in this district.  Elder Able is particularly good at dishing out this kind of abuse.  During team-ups yesterday he just about drove me up the wall.  His verbal shots were incredible; I tried to counter with something but that just made things worse.

Then I was the victim of a practical joke.  On Friday we received a couple of phone calls from the mission office.  Actually, while the person on the other end of the line said they were calling from the office, I think it was really Elder November talking through tissue paper.  Whoever it was, they said that I was in for a sub-line, or special transfer.

I figured it was a joke but I was not 100 percent positive.  Anyway, they said that they would be here at 9:00 p.m. on Monday to pick me up (why so late?).  Here was the dilemma: If it wasn’t real I would be packing for nothing and falling for the joke.  But if it was real and I didn’t pack. . . .  It was a no win situation, a real catch-22.  One reason I thought it was a joke was how little information they gave.  The only thing they said was that I would be going to Seaside Apartment.  Where is that?  I was awfully nervous because the set up seemed almost too good.

When we got home from church on Sunday – we had to bike it all the way down to Middlefield chapel because the ward mission leader, who usually drives us to church, was out of town.  Anyway, when we got home, Elder Lima said that President Douglas had called to say that both of us were being transferred.  That seemed to confirm it all for me, so I started packing.  A little later Elders Whopper and November dropped by our apartment.  When they saw that I had started packing they laughed and said it was all a joke and sub-line transfer was a made up term.  I had been had.

At first I sat in my room and sulked, but then I realized that I have been taking everything – all the verbal abuse and the jokes – too seriously.  I decided that I had to lighten up and so I changed my attitude.  I went out to the living room and laughed a long with everybody else.  It seemed as though a great weight was lifted off my shoulders.

On Monday evening, we had dinner with the ward mission leader's family, after which we watched a local broadcast of the church video Our Heavenly Father's Plan.  The ward mission leader had even invited a neighbor to join us.

It rained again on Tuesday, so naturally we ended up going shopping.  This morning we played some b-ball, and then some football in the afternoon.

Transfers are next Wednesday (so soon?) and Elder Lima thinks that I will be leaving -- he was right about Fox and Golf last transfer.  To be honest, I'm ready for a change, but if the Lord wants me to stay here a little while longer, I will.  I am still discouraged, but I have been asking myself how much I have learned here.  The answer is, a lot.

Love Douglas

--

On the back of the envelope I wrote:

Defeat in battle does not mean defeat in the war.

Victory in battle does not always mean victory in the war.

Defeat can turn to victory, and victory to defeat.

Be watchful and wary, but do not be afraid to be aggressive.

Do like Admiral William F. Halsey: Attack -- Attack -- Attack.